Life can be so damn hard and its difficulty level has likely ramped up for you given the times that we are in. It can feel unbearable to be with it all. How many times have you thought, "This isn't what I wanted!" Welcome to 2020/2021. The year of the unexpected and unplanned.
So how do you cope with things when they don't go as planned? Do you find something to focus on and keep your mind occupied with? Do you find a new show to binge-watch? Do you pull out another bottle of your favourite wine or your favourite snack to ease the pain?
The most crucial, unplanned and unexpected event that happened to me was when I miscarried my first child at 12 weeks. My biggest life dream was taken away from me and I didn't understand why.
What I didn't know at the time was that miscarriage would be the catalyst for my spiritual awakening and many more transformations to come. 5 years later, I am now divorced, no longer in my multiple 6-figure corporate career and am living in a small town in the mountains across the country from where I grew up. I am happier, more fulfilled and living my life's purpose! Did I think this would be the end result of my miscarriage? Nope! At the time, it felt like a punishment and completely unfair.
Whatever you are experiencing and going through is happening for your growth, healing and to redirect you in a more aligned direction. When you choose to not face the truth of your reality, it keeps you from healing and progressing from it. By distracting yourself or ignoring what's happening, you are giving the occurrence and feelings a permanent home in your body.
The only way to heal and move past difficult life situations is to feel the emotions that come with them. There is a reason your body has a physiological response where it physically needs to feel the emotions through movement, sound and tears. It is how the body processes and moves energy out. You need a flow of energy in your system, in order to be healthy.
If you try and avoid feeling heavy and uncomfortable emotions, then offer yourself some compassion. How you cope with your emotions is connected to your upbringing and what you were taught and shown about expressing your feelings. If you were scolded, shamed or neglected when you were expressing dense emotions then you were subconsciously being trained that they are not welcome and expressing them will lead to you being treated in ways that make you suffer further. So instead of allowing yourself to feel, you instead began to repress those emotions.
The thing is. When you repress your feelings, they end up affecting your life in other ways. You end up projecting those emotions onto others. Hello, passive aggression! Also, have you ever felt explosive road rage? The emotions end up leaking out over things that have nothing to do with the original source of your upset. Have you ever bawled over a plant dying, but never fully felt the grief of your dog's passing? That's your body showing you that there is more for you to heal and FEEL.
In episode 45 of the You Relationship podcast, I share with you ways you can work with your emotions so that they no longer hold a grip over you. Listen to "The healing begins when you stop running".